I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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