why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I will pee on everything he values.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
