my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
