2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
