You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
