i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
