He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
