nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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