I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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