Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
