Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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