I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
