White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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