Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
