Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
