Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
its liver damage thursday
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
