the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You brought string cheese to the strip club
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
