My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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