I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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