Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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