I have demons in me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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