I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
