I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
