Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
