Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
