I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
