were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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