Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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