How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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