I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
