I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
