I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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