is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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