Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm both gender and math confused
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
