Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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