i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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