her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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