i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
