I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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