hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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