grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
