ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
