I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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