I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
