the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we're so committed to being not committed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
