So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
