STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
