I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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