so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
