That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
