My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
