Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
