Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
