we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
