She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
