We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
