i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
