My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i out mim tonsoeep
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
