i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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