I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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