The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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