oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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