so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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