Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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