she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize