come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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